Some dates and some days are impossible to forget. Like last Monday when I woke up and looked at my calendar and then looked outside and thought to myself how I hoped you would have the best day ever because how could you not with the sun as high as it was and me by your side? And it felt like a dream with you here and laughter and tears and things which remind you that you're human and still feel. The words spilled fast and easy because I’d drank too much and my heart was pounding and the room was spinning. The room is always spinning. Sitting close enough to touch but never touching. "You always make me feel so good about my sleep deprived ramblings." But now, one week later, twenty-three and a face I sometimes don't remember right anymore, I will always remember you twenty and twenty-one and twenty-two, and how I hugged you the tightest I could for all those years.
Yesterday was also a date I will not forget, when the hope of you finally slipped away. And then today I walked outside and everything looked different and strange the way it does when your heart is broken. The blue was beautiful but it didn't touch me and I floated through the day but not in a good way and tonight I drank too much but the room never spun once.
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